Two Morons vs Zombies
by kade32
Summary: Based on Idiots in an Apocalypse by Idiot Entertainment on YouTube, two slow-witted friends, Hiccup and Jack, find themselves in a zombie apocalypse with no recollection of what happened prior. Now they must try to seek out clues as to why this is happening. Will they succeed? Maybe, maybe not.
1. SURVIVE

**I loved reading the story, _Hiccup and Jack Vs. The Apocalypse_ that I wanted to do my own story inspired by that. So this one is based on the little series by Idiot Entertainment, _Idiots in an Apocalypse_. Consider this a ****tribute. Anyway, read and review.**

* * *

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III woke up with a start as he stood up and got to his feet. The nerdy boy stretched and yawned. He was inside of a remote cabin in an unknown area of the woods, presumably for a getaway of some sort. There were sounds of moaning and snarling coming from outside. On the floor next to him was his best friend, Jackson Overland Frost who was also fast asleep.

"Where are we, Jack?" asked Hiccup to his friend.

Jack finally woke up at the sound of his friend's question and yawned saying, "What is this?"

"I don't know, but look."

Hiccup pointed out the window and they both looked to see an undead-looking person outside in the darkness. He was staggering about as if he was drunk or something.

"What is that thing?" asked Hiccup.

"It's... uh, it's very green..." began Jack as he had no idea what to think of it.

"Uh huh." Hiccup muttered.

"It's very dead-looking..."

"Uh huh."

"I don't know. Are there more?" Jack asked and that's when a few more undead zombies appeared out of the woods to proof this. "Wow. Something tells me we're in a zombie apocalypse, Hiccup."

Hiccup scoffed at his seemingly-unlikely theory and replied, "Don't be stupid. It's probably just some early or late Halloween or something."

"Okay, alright, it's Halloween." Jack sarcastically agreed and looked at his phone. "Even though it's the middle of August. Wait, what's in there?"

He gestured to a chest which they curiously opened to have a look-see. There wasn't much inside the thing, safe for a book, two knifes and some bread for sustenance. Jack picked up the book and read the word on the cover "Survive". He opened up the book and read:

 _The zombies are everywhere. I cannot survive, but maybe you can. I left you two knives and a little food._

 _There should be a small army base to the east. If anyone is there, they should provide weapons and food for you guys._

 _I fear for the future._

 _\- Corporal Lance_

After reading, Hiccup was baffled by this sudden information that his jaw dropped. He couldn't believe it. It was just impossible and yet, here it is. Waking up to find you're stuck in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the undead waiting to eat you alive? How can this be?

"Wait, what?!" He cried in disbelief. "So you're telling me that the world's gone to shit and some dead guy left us a couple knives and a piece of bread?"

"Okay, first off: I told you so." Jack remarked, ignoring Hiccup's snide "Shut up." and continued, "Second off: We don't know if the world's gone totally to shit yet. He just said the zombies were everywhere."

"But we still don't know why we're here or where we are for that matter." explained Hiccup.

"Maybe that dead guy dragged us in here." Jack gestured to the skeleton on the floor sitting against the wall. That must've been Corporal Lance when he was alive before he died.

"This feels so weird. I don't remember anything." Hiccup was still in shock and disbelief. "Like anything-anything."

"Me neither." agreed Jack. "But we have to keep our heads up or else we'll turn into that guy."

"Yeah, I guess so. Where are we supposed to go?"

"This book says we should head east." Jack said looking over the journal once more to make sure.

"Guess it's all we got." shrugged Hiccup.

"Might as well head out, then." Jack replied as he and Hiccup head for the door on their aforementioned quest to the base as explained in the journal. But then Jack noticed something.

"Uh, Hiccup, you forgot you're knife."

"Ah, crap!" grunted Hiccup.

The two buddies then marched out of the cabin they were in and fought off enough zombies in their path to make their escape into the wilderness. After a couple of minutes, they finally managed to shake them as they stood in the woods to catch their breath from all that running.

"Oh my god. They were so fast." Hiccup panted from both the fear of facing undead zombies and running as fast as possible to avoid being eaten or worse; bitten.

"Did you get anything?" Jack asked him.

"A couple of apples." Hiccup answered. "They can climb trees, by the way."

"Give me one."

Hiccup handed him a green apple, which for some obvious reason, was already bitten into.

"Ew. Why does this one have a bite in it?" asked Jack, grossed out.

"It, uh... came like that." Hiccup answered sheepishly.

Jack frowned at him, knowing that it undoubtably had been him that bite it.

"Dude, this one's yours. Give me another." Jack deadpanned.

"It's the only one we have." explained Hiccup innocently.

"I thought you said you had a couple of apples."

"Well, I _found_ a couple of apples, but that doesn't mean I took them all." said Hiccup.

"Why didn't you take them?!"

"You try grabbing an apple while getting bite at by zombies." Hiccup retorted in a matter-of-factly sort of tone.

Jack groaned in aggravation as he trudged away into the forest while his friend just stood there confused. Because of his friend's cowardice, they had only one apple, which was not enough to feed the both of them until they get where they're supposed to be. Not only that, but Hiccup had to eat the only one they had and Jack was not keen on sharing one apple with anything.

"Where are you going?" asked Hiccup, calling out to Jack.

"From now on, I get the food." Jack muttered in annoyance.


	2. THE ROAD

While they were sleeping, a zombie stumbled by and attacked Hiccup. And now he was exhaling in and out, trying to soothe the pain from the bite on his arm. It was still bleeding and visible for the whole world to see. That's when Jack approached him and wondering what was up with him.

"Dude, what-what are y-" He notices the bite mark on Hiccup's arm and it soon made sense. "Yo, did you get bit?"

When Hiccup was finally able to muster enough strength to talk, he answered with a "Yeah".

"Oh my god. Don't get anywhere near me!" Jack jumped back, knowing that now that he's been bitten, he's going to become a zombie as well. But, miraculously, he didn't. "When did you get bit? How long ago? Tell me!"

"It's okay. It's okay." Hiccup assured, trying to calm his friend down.

"What do you mean it's okay?" Jack asked in confusion. "You just got bitten. You're gonna turn into one of those things."

"Uh, you see, I don't think that's how it works." said Hiccup.

"So you're not gonna become one of those things?" asked Jack, skeptical.

"I doubt it." Hiccup reassured.

"Well, alright. But I'm watching you." Jack reminded him strictly.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Now let's get going. We got quite a road ahead." reminded Jack to his friend.

Then the dynamic duo marched ahead to their destination. It was quite a long trip towards this so-called army base and there seemed to be nothing but forest ahead. Few minutes and trees later, they happened upon a house in a clearing near a road. Maybe, out of sheer luck, they could find something to use in there and possibly some food if there is any.

"Ah, cool." Jack marveled with joy.

"Let's get some supplies." Hiccup said with equal excitement.

"Alright, we don't know what's in there, so let's probably approach with-"

But he was cut off when Hiccup had already gone into the house without stealth and cried out to Jack, "Oh, hey, there's a fridge in here!"

Jack rolled his eyes and sighed, walking into the house to join his friend who had opened the fridge in the kitchen, only to find another skeleton inside. Possibly someone who lived in the house and probably chose that fridge to hide in from the zombies.

"Oops, it's another dead guy." Hiccup remarked.

"Pulling an Indiana Jones, I see." Jack crossed his arms and suddenly found the door open to the garage. There was car inside of it. "Hey, wait, is that a car?"

They entered the garage to see that is was an an old Lincoln Continental. It looked like it hasn't been used in decades and is in very poor condition, but that didn't mean it wouldn't still work.

"But where are the keys?" asked Hiccup.

"Probably around here somewhere." Jack answered walking around the garage to find those keys, when he found a map laying on the floor. "Oh, hey, a map!"

Unknown to Hiccup, the keys were on the floor where he stood and he accidentally stepped on them, causing the car to let out a loud chirp.

"Oops." He blushed as his little mistake.

"Uh, Hiccup?" Jack nervously looked out the window to see a horde of zombies looking inside. The sound of the car must've alerted the zombies of their whereabouts and were not gonna leave until they had a swallow of human flesh.

"The house is kinda surrounded."

"Shit!" Hiccup cursed.

"Get in the car. Get in the car." Jack hurriedly told Hiccup as they both rushed into the car. Jack took the backseat while Hiccup sat in the passenger seat in the back. He put the keys in the ignition and tried to start it. The engine was having some trouble.

"Come on, start!"

"Hurry!" Hiccup warned.

"The damn thing won't start!" Jack hissed until the car finally started. "There we go."

"Go straight ahead." said Hiccup.

"Through the garage door?" asked Jack.

"Yes, yes, just drive, idiot!" Hiccup instructed impatiently.

"But my insurance!"

"GO!"

Not wanting to be told again, Jack punched his foot on the accelerator and the car speed forward, crashing right through the garage door as they sped away from the house.

"Yeah!" The both cheered as they finally got away from those zombies.

20 minutes later, they were still driving down the road to reach their destination. They oughta be there in no time. Meanwhile, Hiccup was looking over the map to see how close they were getting.

"So according to this, we should head over to the..." The window was open and, being the klutz that he was, let the map slip out of his fingers and the wind blew the map out of the window.

"Well, map's gone."

"Shit!" Jack cursed.

Suddenly, the car ran out of gas and came to an immediate halt, leaving them stranded in the road.

"And we're out of gas."

"Shit!"

Then more zombies came out of the forest and surrounded the car.

"And we're surrounded by zombies."

"Aw, shit."


	3. THE CAMP

The car was completely surrounded by zombies, blocking the doors so the two friends couldn't get out. All their options were at a minimum and they couldn't open the doors unless they want to let the zombies in and eat them alive.

"Okay, okay. Let's just stay calm." Jack said.

"Let's just go on three." Hiccup suggested that they fight their way out. "1...2..."

"Wait, wait, wait!" interrupted Jack. "Okay, are we going on three or after three?"

"What?"

"Uh, you know, like '1, 2, Go' or '1, 2, 3, Go'?" asked Jack.

"Just-just one three, okay?" Hiccup shook his head, not wanting to explain it right now. "1...2...3."

"No, no, no." His friend interrupted again. "You said the exact same thing again. On three, right?"

Hiccup groaned in annoyance at his friend's slow-wittedness as this was definitely not the time to be asking about things when they need to be getting away from the zombies.

"Oh my go-! Jack, just go! Now!"

At that instant, the two friends jumped out of the car with their knives and stabbed, hacked and slashed at the undead creeps, slicing them up until they were no longer moving. It was the most gruesome and gore-y thing that's ever happened to them and it felt like being in a horror movie. All the zombies were dead and their hands were covered with the zombies' blood from the fight.

"Well, that was unnecessarily bloody." Jack remarked, looking at his bloodied hands with disgust.

"I guess so, huh?" Hiccup shrugged.

"Wait, what about the car?" asked Jack, wondering what they were gonna do about the vehicle.

"It doesn't have gas, anyway." Hiccup replied.

"But we've had it for like 10 seconds." Jack argued.

"Leave it." said Hiccup, reminding his friend that because it was out of gas and that there was no gas station or repair shop around for miles, it was useless to them now. So they had no choice but to leave the thing behind.

"Fine." Jack sighed, walking away and leaving Hiccup by the car. He walked into the woods and saw something in the distance.

"Hiccup! Hiccup! There's a campsite over here! I think we've made it!" Jack called out to his friend.

"Oh, sweet!" cried Hiccup with relief and joy as he joined Jack and the duo made it over to the army base, which, to their bewilderment, seemed devoid of any human life.

"It, uh...looks deserted." replied Hiccup in state of confusion.

But then a man's voice cried out from a tent further from them, "Hey, who goes there?"

"Oh, shit." Hiccup chirped.

"Uh, we're...travelers?" Jack responded to whoever it was with a little hesitance in his voice as it hoped that they wouldn't be mistaken as a threat. "We were told to come here."

"Told by who?" A middle-aged man with a military uniform and buzzcut hairdo asked as he approached the two teens. He spoke with a thick Canadian accent.

"Uh..." Jack stammered, trying to remember what the person's name was.

"I think his name was..." Hiccup tried to remember as well.

"Uh...Lance! Corporal Lance." Jack finally said as it sparked in his mind.

"Corporal Lance, eh? He went out to investigate a few weeks ago." explained the soldier. "Wondered what happened to him."

"Wanna see his skull?" asked Hiccup.

"Shut up!" Jack hissed to him quietly. "Uh, well, he kinda died before we woke up."

"Ah, well. It was bound to happen." The Canadian soldier shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess that leaves me."

"I'm sorry, but we didn't catch your name." Jack said to him.

"Call me Twitch." He answered. "General Twitch. At your service."

"Do you have any guns?" asked Jack. "We need weapons."

"You never want to use a gun around here." Twitch reminded him seriously. "Unless you want to get a horde after you."

Hiccup and Jack both groaned in despair.

"But I do have some good knives here." said Twitch. "And I could probably fill up that car with a little gas."

"Oh, sweet." cheered Hiccup.

"So, uh, let's cut the crap. I need you guys for a mission." Twitch explained.


	4. TRUTH

"So, a mission." spoked Jack. "What kind of mission?"

"Do we kill things?" asked Hiccup, a bit hopeful that he'll kill some zombies.

"Well, we'll see about that." Twitch confirmed in a serious tone.

"What's the mission?" Hiccup asked.

"Now that I have extra men here, I was hoping we could explore the research facility that's south of here." explained Twitch.

"What kind of research were they doing?" asked Jack, raising an eyebrow.

"I really don't know." shrugged Twitch. "But it sounds interesting. Something about Dr. Armstrong infecting inmates. Lance caught wind of it a few weeks back and we we're going to investigate. But that was before I learned that he kicked the bucket."

"Yeah, I guess it's too bad." Hiccup remarked with an almost uninterested tone.

"But, uh, hey, now we're here." Jack responded with a relaxed smile. "Jack and Hiccup at your service."

"Sounds good." nodded Twitch, glad to have some company and assistance at solving this whole crisis. "But I want one of you boys to stay at camp while the other two go."

"You really trust us?" asked a suspicious Jack.

"You've given me no reason not to." Twitch replied matter-of-factly, but gave them both a stern gaze. "But if one of y'all gets out of line, I'm tearing a new one."

This got the two teens stuttering and stammering their words at the same time, trying not to say anything to get on this man's bad side.

"Uh, will do, sir. Yeah." They both came out with nervously.

"Alrighty." said Twitch. "Let me get some gas and we'll get ready to go."

Now that they've joined forced with Twitch, this military solider that they've just met and could have a hand in helping them understand what's going on and how to stop it, the trio both headed for the man's vehicle, but Twitch placed a hand on Hiccup's chest, stopping him from going with him and Jack.

"No, no, no. You stay here." He ordered before they both got in the car.

"I think he likes me." Hiccup cracked.

* * *

Twitch and Jack were on the road now, heading towards the direction Twitch was certain the old research facility was located. So far, they hadn't run into any zombies out there and Jack hoped that Hiccup was okay back at the camp by himself when there's flesh-eating cadavers wandering around.

"It shouldn't be too far now." Twitch reassured.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" asked Jack, concerned as he checked the compass app on his phone to notice they weren't heading south like he previously mentioned. "You said it was south."

"Did I say 'south'?" asked Twitch, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "I meant this way."

"Yeah." drawled out Jack with a disbelieving expression, not sure if he should trust his math on this one.

"We're here."

In a moment's time, they had finally arrived at the place; a derelict foundation that seemed to have abandoned for many years. Upon entering through the rotted gates and the emergency exit, the inside of it looked worse than it did on the outside. Armed with a flashlight, Twitch shined the light around the hallway they were in to see there were many cells like from a prison or insane asylum.

"Well, this is quite the rundown place now, isn't it?" asked Jack.

"I'm gonna guess that it's been abandoned for a few years now." responded Twitch.

"No shit." Jack remarked before something on a table caught his attention that might help. "Oh, there's a book here."

"What's it say?" asked Twitch, coming over with the flashlight.

"'Log'?" The teen read in confusion. It must've been a diary or journal for whomever worked here or perhaps Armstrong himself. Jack flung open the book to read some of the entries inside of it.

 _Day 1: My name is Dr. Andrew Armstrong and I am assigned with the duty of creating controllable monsters._

"'Controllable monsters'?" repeated Twitch in confusion, wondering what they meant by that before Jack continued.

 _I am trying to achieve this by injecting humans with an infection and, while infected, hopefully I can reprogram their brains. But so far, no luck._

 _Day 6: While infected, inmates seemed to turn green and have incredible strength. Still no luck reprogramming their brain, though._

 _Day 13: The reprogramming finally_ _works. However, it takes a while to work._

 _Day 28: It works completely. I now have control of six monsters._

 _Day 80: I now understand what people mean when they say "drunk with power"._

 _Day 108: I just raided and took over my home town. God, I'm a monster._

 _Day 210: I have now moved my location. Good luck to whoever is reading this. I still control them. I will always control them._

After reading the last entry, Jack shut the book with a bewildered and beyond baffled look on his face. Twitch was equally gobsmacked by the revelation the log revealed.

"Wow, that sure was some story, sport." spoke Twitch. Although, Jack was still deep in through, trying to put pieces together with the information he just discovered.

"I wonder...if he still controls them." He replied with a dazed, but softly-growing paranoid look. "I wonder...if he's watching us. Right...now."


	5. SECRETS

Twitch and Jack returned to the car and drove back over to the camp to find Hiccup still alive and okay, thankfully. They explained the entire story to him from finding the abandoned research facility to realizing what has been going on there that lead to the creation of the zombies.

"And that's what happened." finished Jack.

"Woah." gasped Hiccup with bulged eyes. "That's so weird. So someone's out there controlling these things?"

"Yep. But let's worry about that tomorrow." said Jack with a yawn. "We should head to sleep."

"Alright."

That night while resting in their tent, Hiccup was still wide awake while his friend was fast asleep in his cot. Hiccup could swear he could hear something coming from outside their tent.

"Psst. Jack. Jack, wake up." whispered Hiccup.

Jack groaned groggily, half-asleep and answered, "What?"

"Y-You hear that?"

He only got a loud snore in response.

"Jack!" Hiccup hissed loudly, which earned him an annoyed groan.

"Go to sleep."

Hiccup sighed and slowly arose from his cot and out of the tent to investigate the strange noise himself. Sure enough, there was a dark figure outside wandering through the campsite.

"Huh?" This made Hiccup raise an eyebrow and red flags to go off in his head as he slowly and quietly followed to mystery person who, unsurprisingly, turned out to be Twitch. He entered his office while Hiccup hid behind a bush. Over the sounds of crickets and other night sounds emitting around the forest, there appeared to be a conversation going on inside, which left Hiccup confused. Who could Twitch be talking to?

The voices were muffled, but Hiccup could almost make out the sentences, explaining something about "I think I've gained their trust" and "they're getting close". The voices ended for a brief moment, leaving only silence inside. Then all of the sudden, there was a deep-pitched voice shouting, "You fool!"

Along with the sound of the slashing of flesh with a blade, a mess of blood splattered on the window. Hiccup gasped with absolute horror at this and retreated back to the tent before he could be detected. Hiccup could not get any sleep last night after what he just witnessed. He was 90% he just witnessed a murder. Hiccup laid in his bed in a fetal position, eyes wide open, red and tired as he stayed awake, hoping nobody would enter their tent and kill them too.

* * *

The next morning, Jack awoke from his sleep and stretched his tired bones with a yawn.

"How'd you sleep, buddy?" asked Jack.

"Jack." began Hiccup, staring at his friend dead in the eyes.

"Yeah, Hiccup?"

"Something happened last night." Hiccup replied with a hint of fear. "Come with me."

Confused, Jack followed his friend over to Twitch's office where Hiccup witnessed the murder the night before.

"In there." Hiccup explained, pointing at the building.

"So this is where you saw Twitch go?" asked Jack.

"Open it. Carefully." ordered Hiccup with an uneasy and even more frightened feeling that there would be something they won't unsee. Jack rolled his eyes at his friend's behavior right now, believing he was just overreacting, but he reached for the door knob, nonetheless.

"Relax. It's not like it's gonna-" Hiccup gasped with shock once Jack opened the door. To his surprise, there was nothing inside. There was no body, no blood and Twitch was no where to be seen nor that mystery person he was speaking with. Jack and him entered with Jack not shocked or worried in the least.

"It's...a house. Great." Jack shrugged, certain that his friend was freaking out over nothing.

"Wait, what?!" Hiccup cried, not believing this one bit. "But there were screams and Twitch...and...and...and..."

"Don't you think that maybe the lack of sleep got to you a little?" asked Jack, shaking his head.

"No! I swear! I was here last night." Hiccup persisted, pleadingly. "I saw things-"

But all of the sudden, Jack found a doorway on the floor and opened it up to see a secret hole inside, which caused him to think that his friend might be right.

"Oh, a secret." He exclaimed with surprise. "Maybe you're onto something."


End file.
